“At the L4/5 level, there is a central disc bulge with focal high T2 signal inferiorly consistent with an annulus fibrosis tear. This is causing mild central canal stenosis and severe left lateral recess stenosis with probable impingement of the descending left L5 nerve root. There is mild foraminal narrowing at this level with no evidence of nerve root impingement.”
I would have never guess I’d be here, 10 days away from being 21 years old, with a tear in the annulus of my L5 disc. I would have never guessed I’d still be in pain 5 months after an innocent injury, or that I’d be having to complete a ‘Pain Diary’ after getting cortisone injections in my back. The worst part is that this isn’t the end.
I’m just mad at myself. I know that my lifts in the gym are in good form, and what happened was from overdoing it a couple weeks before, not letting myself rest enough and then being lazy in technique when I did get back to the gym. I know it’s my fault. But I’m tried of people telling me I’m too young for this – this is my reality now. I’m tired of being told I was stupid – I know. I’m tired and ridiculously offended of being told it’s from a life of inactivity because that is quite the opposite. Honestly, I’m so tired of being in so much pain and having no one to understand. I know I’m complaining but I do try so hard in my life, I have for so long, whether it be in my work or fitness or education. In no way did I want this to happen, but perhaps there was no way for me to have prevented it from happening.
The scariest part is the talk of surgery, and that these back problems will now be for the rest of my life. The thought of that is so upsetting to me. Maybe it eventually won’t be a hindrance, but it’s something I do have to be wary of to prevent re-injury. And that makes me scared, and sad.
I don’t have much else to say at the moment, nothing too positive in regards to my back. Although, it has been an experience – I’ve now had an MRI and CAT scan. The other aspects of my life are positive. Unfortunately, my life seems to like throwing health problems at me. I’m sure it’ll be fine. In good time!