Life, huh

I’ve been contemplating making a blog for a while now. I guess I’ve been subconsciously aching to exercise my English skills, which haven’t really been put into play since finishing high school and starting a mathematics degree at uni. But I’m not complaining, the last thing I want to be doing is studying English and writing essays – I’d much rather the freedom of expressing my own narcissistic personality via blog.

I sit here on my lounge at my family home with not a lot to complain about (other than that I’ve been forced to abandon the password I’ve used since the ripe old age of MSN for another that contains numbers, capitals, lowercase letters and symbols, and the blood of a newborn child. Insane. I can’t live my life on the edge if I’m bound down by these password restrictions.) I also have an exam tomorrow. But, onwards and upwards! I’m a happy and healthy 19 year old. This website let me choose a theme called “Eighties” which immediately makes me happy (you are forgiven for the password complication, WordPress.) Today, I got to do my very favourite thing; walk my dog along the beach as the sun is setting, and of course whilst listening to Queen. That sounds like it’s been taken from a Tinder profile. I enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach and hot kisses at dusk.

ANYWAY. I want to get to the point that I’m very grateful for my level of heath today. I’ve partly made this blog to talk/reflect on my life. As a previous Tumblr fiend, I wanted to get away from blogging for the purpose of getting followers. I want to move towards blogging for me, as well as to enlighten others. The reason I am so grateful for my health is that, today, I am able to consider myself recovered from numerous mental disorders. Particularly, anorexia nervosa and depression. Today, I am able to eat what I want. Today, I am able to exercise because I want to. Today, I am able to appreciate the world around me, and the people in my life. Today, I am able to smile because I’m happy. Today, not only am I alive, I am living. And that is a big thing for me since not all that long ago I was convinced I would die before I ate X amount of calories, or gained X kilos. I could talk forever about my eating disorder experience, but there are no words to explain how lifeless I was. I’m sure I’ll get into that another time though. TODAY, I may well be the highest weight I have ever been. Heck, I am the highest weight I have ever been. But that’s okay because, in the wise words of Confucius; “YOLO”.

But in all seriousness, I am very grateful for my life because not a lot of people get to say they have recovered from an eating disorder/any other mental illness for that matter. And that’s because they’re so incredibly consuming. I ain’t a hater, but I hate mental illness. (Although, in a way, my experience with mental illness has made me a better, more appreciative and empathetic person – but, again, another post for another day.) I feel like it’s necessary I tell you about my past battles as they are such a huge part of who I am and the decisions I make today, which (now) is not a bad thing. I guess you’ll come to understand that with further writings.

So, tune into this blog and some (very) irregular blog posts to gain a little insight into my highly underwhelming but quite enjoyable life. Disclaimer: I am wholly passionate about Queen/Freddie Mercury so get your shoes on. Honestly though, there is an 11/10 chance that you will get annoyed at the amount of times I mention Queen in a post.

But in the meantime, listen to some Phil Collins for me.

Courtney

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4 thoughts on “Life, huh

  1. I stumbled onto your blog accidentally, but I decided to read your first post, and I’m glad I did. I never suffered from anorexia, but I have and do suffer dramatically from depression, and I can relate so much to what you said, especially about hating depression. And while I also agree that it has made me a more empathetic and caring person, it still is a living hell I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I don’t really know the point of my comment except to let you know that I appreciated and related to your writing. Thanks!

    Like

  2. phil! ❤

    i listened to oldies (50s and 60s) until about 1986, when i still listened to them. only now i started listening to "contemporary" music as well, and phil collins was my first 80s pop/rock artist. weve had our ups and downs but i will love him forever. i mean, i dont follow him on tours or have posters of him on my wall or anything, but i usually smile when hes on the radio and theres too many wonderful memories of listening to him with other fans. hes underrated because of his reputation for being overrated– a true victim of success.

    Like

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